It's bright and early on Monday morning, and you're back at work! Finally away from the crying and screaming, away from dirty diapers and a floor full of toys. You don't have to worry about inane questions about why the sky is blue, but why, but why, but why? Peace comes in the form of a cup of coffee and normal, adult conversations. It's quite a relief, right?
Then the headache starts, right behind your eyes, or maybe at the top of your neck. You look over what you have to do for the day and your chest gets tight. Your pulse starts racing, the lights are too bright, and the conversations that were so relaxing suddenly become unbearable. You just want to lock yourself in your office, in the cab of your truck, or go crawl in a hole in the ground. Anything to get away from Monday morning.
Sound familiar? If you do a Google search for "Monday Morning Blues", you will see that the internet is full of advice, of which the most offered suggestion is difficult, if not impossible for a parent to follow. It always starts with getting extra sleep Sunday evening. Let me tell you how my Sunday evening went.
It started with getting home late from a family event, and with the wife trying to get the kids ready for bed. Callie was crying, and Tanner wanted to lay down in our bed, and then the sofa, and then back in our bed, and back to the sofa. We finally managed to get Callie calm in her swing, so my wife went to bed to try to get some sleep in, while I stayed up with a still awake toddler. When Tanner at last nodded off on the sofa, I was too wired to go to bed, as nighttime seems to be when my depression and anxiety bubble up to the surface best. I watched the latest Game of Thrones (seriously, how are they going to wrap all this up in two episodes?!?), and after a careful transfer of little ones to bed, I made coffee and crawled into bed myself a little after midnight.
My nights lately have been filled with fitful dreams, broken up by Callie waking up and crying, or Tanner's feet in my back, because he refuses to sleep anywhere but between my wife and I in bed. At five in the morning my alarm went off, and after a generous use of the snooze button I dragged myself to my feet and began to get ready. Cue Tanner sitting up in bed and yelling "I wanna go with you!", which of course triggers Callie to start crying because her big brother is crying too. Let me say now that my wife is a saint for handling all this while I gave hugs and kisses all around and left them to head to work. (Per my wife, after a transfer to the living room, all of them fell back asleep, for which she was very grateful!)
My trip to work starts out with my heading the wrong way on the highway, because my sleep-addled brain apparently couldn't figure out the same traffic circle I use every day. Once at work, everything moves as it normally does, but the mental transfer from weekend to work day just isn't going smoothly. The headache I mentioned before begins, and I have trouble focusing. My chest starts to hurt, and my pulse is throbbing. It is certainly Monday morning.
Hello anxiety, my old friend. Hello depression, nice to have you along for the ride. It all brings back into focus what my wife keeps insisting. "You need to call the doctor and see about trying different meds. You had good results from the therapist before, it might be good to go talk to someone again. When you get home from work, we can all go for a walk and get some exercise, it will be good for you." If you are dealing with these mental health issues, you need to have someone in your corner who understands what you're going through and is there to help you through. The key to that is, you have to be willing to listen.
For some men, mornings, especially Monday mornings, are the worst time for depression and anxiety. For others, they are a blessed relief, and things only get bad in the evenings, or on the weekends. Everyone deals with mental health issues differently, and everyone has their own triggers. Even though it might happen at different times, all of us have our own version of Monday Morning Blues. We just have to hope that our own Friday afternoon shows up soon.
If anyone is so inclined to see some of those oft-repeated recommendations for how to survive a Monday morning, here are a few for you to peruse:
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